Reflection

As today is the last day of working for me, I can’t help but realise how this year 2017 come to an end.  It feels just like yesterday I started blogging again, and it was the beginning of the year. So many things happened, huge changes came to my life, and I didn’t even realise that time has taken my life in a blink of an eye.

I remember clearly what my goal this year was: acceptance. I realised many things in this world is way out of my control and I wanted to just accept my state, conditions, failures, just the way they are. To bring peaceful to my mind, to please the One who decides my life, that I fully accept whatever He places in to my life.

Did I really practice acceptance as planned in the past year?

One thing for sure, most of the time I even forgot that I have that goal…

And the fact was.. I lived my life in the least patience I should have had. I made reckless decisions, mistakes, you can say. But as I am writing this post a fact comes to my mind: this is the biggest challenge of my 2017 goal. 2017 is not over yet. I should not lose especially in the last days..

And throwing back to the whole year again, it hits me.  Yes, I made reckless decisions.  Yes, I was kinda drifting away with no firm decision of the way I really want to go.  Yes, I made huge mistakes.  Yes, I  joined an initiative in a rush, only to leave it in the same year.

But.. I also have grown soo much as a person. I have fight my self-esteem problem, I became much more confident than the whole 31 years of my life combined. I met MANY interesting new people. I have shaped the newer-me who is closer to my actual self. I learn about the initiative that is really close to my heart, and I stay in the other activities that are even closer to my soul. I learn how to mend myself and hold to rescue poles when I was extremely broken and slipping away. I tasted love. And I am grateful. I accept this destiny not only because I have to, due to the goal, but also because I believe this is the best one for my scenario.

I also learn that having fun and loving your self every now and then is okay.. And maybe I should do it more often. But it brings a big question mark for 2018, which I think will make me happier if I know the answer soon. But again, just accept, sometimes the answer will come when you least expect it 😀

How do you see your 2017? Are you happy with it? Or do you have some things you wish you do differently? Tell me in the comments or let’s talk when we meet! 🙂

Love,
Dewi

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